BE STILL 2: We're having a boy!

The Lord has answered many of my prayers in the past but this is the first time I knew with 100% certainty that the Lord answered my request before actual confirmation. 

During my New Year fasting, my number 1 prayer request was for a healthy baby boy. I was going through my fasting diary and came across this entry:

A few days later, the most amazing thing happened during my morning fasting time. I know this may sound a bit strange (and maybe even TMI for some) but I decided to share it anyway as testimony to how the Lord answers prayers.

That fine day, I felt the Lord impose in my heart that today was the day to conceive. I remember reasoning with the Lord telling Him I was tired and busy. "Maybe another day Lord?" "Maybe this isnt the Lord speaking, maybe its just my imagination?" But fasting haa a way of making me more open to listen. I was convicted to do my part. I have asked through prayer. He is ready and willing to answer, but I must obey whether I feel like it or not.

Food for thought: We ask the Lord for many things but how often do we do our part in His answered prayer? Prayer comes hand in hand with faith. We pray and we leap together with God as He answers our prayer. We obey regardless of whether we feel like obeying or not. Sometimes, prayers go unanswered not because God is not listening, but because we insist on getting what we want our way instead of His.

That day I knew with certainty that we were having a baby boy. 

True enough, a few weeks later we tested  positive and a few months later it was confirmed we were having a boy!

This baby boy, ourlittleedamame, will prove to be our faith baby with the Lord answering one prayer after another.

BE STILL 1: Preparing my heart for things to come.

Early this year I participated in our yearly fasting. It was one of my most intimate times with the Lord and a true faith building time. The Lord imposed a verse in my heart that moved me. "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) 

Picture from: http://www.fraserviewchurch.com/multimedia-archive/journeying-with-jesus-mark-6/

I felt God speaking in my life reminding me to trust him with my time, my schedule and my priorities. Being genetically inclined to be a career woman, I have this tendency to want to do everything and do it perfectly. During that time, I had a toddler who just turned 2, I was back in school and my photography business was picking up. Trying to do it all often resulted in a tired Mommy and inattentive wife. It became hard to see the fun and joy of our growing family amidst all the to dos, deadlines and lack of rest. 

The Lord reminded me to be still, take my time and rearrange my priorities. He is in charge of everything - including my time. I am in charge of obeying and remaining faithful...

Little did I know that this was just the beginning. The Lord was preparing my heart, my priorities and my outlook in life for bigger, better things. Much more was to come for 2014 💗

Lazyboy Afternoons vs Rat Races

 

As I sit in my Lazyboy nursing my baby girl on a weekday afternoon, I am reminded of the best decision I have made for my family thus far. A couple of months ago, I decided to let go of my corporate job to allow me more time with my family. It was a prolonged decision making process, mostly because of the many fears and apprehensions I had. I had worked so hard to get to where I was - 4 years of Computer Science, years of overtime, travelling alone, deadlines, timelines, training... all to just let it go at a time when I was actually starting to enjoy my position. I was more than contented with my financial independence and afraid of the lifestyle change I had to make to adjust to a lesser spending capacity. I was happy with the professional relationships I had made, even so that I had come to regard many as friends, afraid to lose myself together with my job.

But today, as I sit in my Lazyboy on a weekday afternoon, watching my baby girl nurse and look at me with adoring eyes, I am reassured that I made the right choice. There was a time in my life when studying and working hard made sense, when it was the right thing to do -- but now is not that time anymore. Now is time for new priorities. Now is the time to watch my daughter grow, to be there for her when she needs me -- whether it be to find comfort in nursing today or to confide in later on in her life. My mother always told me, if you want your children to open up to you when they are older, you must make the time to talk to them today. If you were not there when they wanted to talk about their best friend in nursery class, or the time when they fell off the playground, or the time when they wondered about that thing they saw on TV, then what makes you think they will open up to you about that cute boy in class or that crazy party they went to? What makes you think they will talk to you about the man they may marry or the job they want to take?

I wonder why I was so scared to lose my independence. Am I truly independent being tied down to a 9 to 5, or rather an 8 to 7 pm and some weekends included? I wonder why I was scared to lose myself. Am I really that I.T. career woman or a wife and mother? Today I am able to spend most of my days relaxed, enjoying my family and taking care of our home. The time I spend with my husband and daughter are no longer rushed or squeezed into my overly tight schedule. I am able to spend hours chatting with my husband unearthing our deepest darkest secrets. I am able to nurse my daughter whenever she needs it and learn what makes her coo and smile and laugh. Somedays when I am lucky, I am even able to visit the parlor, paint my nails, and get that regular exercise I have been promising myself for years. On top of that, I am able to pursue my own business doing something I truly enjoy.

As a friend of mine told me, I am glad to have found the courage to get out of the rat race that doesn't lead to any meaningful destination anyway. Now that I am here, I cant imagine myself any happier.

Carbon Copy

When I was pregnant, Eyebrows and I used to constantly wonder how our little Lima Bean would look like. Would she have her Daddy's thick lips? Mommy's pointed nose? How about her hair, would it be curly or straight? Would she be tall and fair like us? That's why it was to our surprise to see her come out looking exactly like her Daddy! She got his chinky eyes, his light brown straight hair, his toes, she even got his birthmark exactly on the same spot in between her eyebrows! Most of the time when I look at my baby, I see my husband. On those occasions, I am mesmerized by how this lovely human being grew inside of me looking nothing like me. But more than that, I am reminded of how our daughter is a product of our love - a constant reminder that although she came from inside me, she is likewise completely my husband. Then there are those rare days when I see myself in her - her pouty lips, her wide forehead, her cute little chin. And I wonder how her face will evolve through the years. One thing is for sure though, that no matter who our Lima Bean resembles, she will always be the most beautiful baby in our eyes.

(photo: top - eyebrows. bottom - lima bean)