Wedding Ring Choices

We've been going ring shopping, trying out designs. Some choices for our wedding bands:

HIS: Simple "mannish" guy, so we're going for a simple ring in white gold.

Top 1: this one is in platinum, but we're thinking of white gold

This one is matte and in metal, we're thinking a similar matte but in white gold

HERS: I want it to go with my engagement ring, which is very elegant feminine and simple

Top 1: Got this one off a website, I think it'll be quite bagay to Eyebrows' top 1 ring

This one is a string of 5 diamonds

This one is a string of about 10 small ones, it looks really pretty and goes with my engagement ring, but its not really that classic.

Engagement Ring - left or right?

Our first engagement month I was confused about so many things I wanted for our wedding -- now I am extremely confuzzled!!! Everything I thought I didnt want I now think I do, and vice versa. Too many choices choices... I should probably keep it much simpler and do away with some of the details. Anyway... not the point of my blog.

So, our engagement ring is too big for my left finger but just right for my right. But since engagement rings are worn on your left, we went to the jeweler to have my it resized only to find out that it didnt really matter what hand I wore it on! I realized there was a good reason to keep it on my right, so that one day when my fingers gain weight (hehe), I can switch it over to my left. So, I decided to give it some thought before resizing...

Now though, I have this unwaranted feeling I still want it on my left. There's just this feeling I have that thats where engagement rings go. Plus, since Im right handed, it gets all sloppy when I eat with my fingers. So... Ill probably go back and have it resized. I am counting that my finger wont be gaining any weight any time soon. And if it does, it shouldnt be so hard to resize it again. :)

Victory Engagement Seminar

Eyebrows and I attended 2 days of the Victory engagement seminar. I must say, it helped us understand things about each other that may have taken much more time and challenge to understand. In memory of our pre-marriage lessons, I thought to jot down a summary of things that struck us:


Topic: Understanding Differences

Quotable Quotes:

• "A marriage is not a joining of two worlds, but an abandoning of two worlds in order that a new one might be formed"
• "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Ps 139:14

Differences between Men and Women:

• Men are highly systematized, while women are highly empathetic (We can be systematized too!)
• Men are has a low ability to multitask (I totally agree! Being with a man requires patience patience patience!), while women can do several things at the same time
• Men have a high ability to control emotions, while women are easily emotional (ok, I agree with this one too... I guess being with a woman requires... well... patience patience patience!)
• Men have low relational orientation, while women have high relational orientation (what can I say, people and feelings are important to women!)
• When faced with strees, men act first then think later. Women think and feel before acting (sometimes we think and feel too much before acting! haha)
• Men have a tendency to compete with other males (oh gosh, tell me about it! I dont see why you have to be tougher or cooler than him!). Women have a tendency to cooperate with other females (It's all about spreading the love!!)

Difference in communication between Men and Women:

• Men focus on facts, while women tend to empathize the feelings behind the facts (but feelings speak a lot about facts!)
• Men solve problems one at a time, usually on their own. Women need to talk about their problems to process their thoughts (yes, i agree with this. Sometimes I cant process why I feel bad until I voice out what Im feeling)
• Men approach situations with a strong desire to make decisions and take action. Women sometimes just want to talk about how they feel about those same situations (sometimes over and over and over again! we're not looking for a solution... just voicing out feelings!)
• Men speak directly and use words literally (ok, my man is a man-MAN! haha). Women speak indirectly (I always thought men can read minds! haha)
• Men concentrate on solving the problem, women want to know HOW the problem will be solved (well ofcourse! it cant just solve itself, right?)

Difference in motivation between Men and Women

• Men are motivated by conquest, women are motivated by nurture
• Men are motivated by work and accomplishments (sometimes women can too!), women are motivated by the people they care about

Difference in provision and security between Men and Women

• Men provide financially, women provide the emotional security of a peaceful home
• Men look for respect and admiration from their wife (good thing theres a lot to respect and admire about Eyebrows - naks!). Women look for love expressed through words and actions.

Each of us is different and uniquely created by God! Our differences are all a part of God's perfect design, so love your partner for all that he/she is.

Learn to:

1. Appreciate - do not expect or compare
2. Accept - it is not your job to change your partner
3. Adjust - learn to compromise

Topic: Roles of Husband and Wife

Quotable Quotes:

• "Many marry expecting their spouse to do what onle God can do."
• "Headship does not mean the husband is right. It means he is the steward."
• "No woman in their right mind would not submit to a husband who loves her like Christ loved the church."
• Woman says: "I trust you to act, to move and to lead"
• "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Eph 5:33

Husband - LEADER
Roles: To love his wife GENTLY and unconditionally

1. Protect - A mans role is to protect his family, not just physically but also emotionally. It is to ensure that no intruder harms his wife and children in any way
2. Provide - It is to financially provide to his family.
3. Guide (Spiritually) - A family looks up to the man for spiritual guidance

Wife - HELPMATE
Roles: To respect her husband

1. Submit - A womans role is to humble herself and allow her husband to take the lead. An ideal wife is one that is quiet, confident and nurturing.
2. Support - It is to support the endeavours of her husband and children. It is to trust her husband. To give him respect, praise and prayer.
3. Assist - It is to assist her husband is raising a family
4. Encourage - It is to encourage her family to be the best that they can be, to cheer them on and allow them to reach their full potential.

Topic: Communication
Quotable Quotes:

• "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. " - James 1:19
• "A gently answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stirs up anger." - Proverbs 15:1

Notes to remember:

1. Men generally use their right brain, so they speak very logically and literally. Women use both sides of their brain, so they can logically verbalize their emotions if they try. Women tend to want men to seek them out and know how they have been offended. Remember that not even men can read minds. (Wouldn't it be so much easier if they can?? I need an Edward Cullen -- hehehe)
2. The key to a marraige is to constantly communicate. Never allow your marraige to become silent.
3. Communication involves attention. It is not just about being physically present, each person must be mentally focused on the conversation.
4. Communication is the successful exchange of emotions and ideas. Successful means both partners understand what each is trying to say.
5. Men handle stress by going into their "nothing box". A nothing box is their special place where they do or think about.... nothing. Unlike women, for men nothing really does mean nothing. (Gosh, this is probably one of the key things I learned from the seminar -- never thought doing nothing was actually doing something... men are so strange.)
6. Women handle stress by talking about their emotions. Women feel the need to verbalize their emotions to realize their thoughts (Its probably why I cant understand why Eyebrows' sometimes does nothing when he's stressed -- when Im stressed I talk and talk and think and think. I cant understand how a man can just.... seem to not care. Men are so strange. hehe)
7. When communicating, men look for the bottomline while women dwell on the details. (What good is a story if there are no details??)
8. A man's mind is compartmentalized, while a woman's mind is a chain of interconnected ideas and thoughts

Common problems in communication:

1. Lack of communication
2. Miscommunication - dont stop at the difference, you need to be able to understand what he/she is trying to say

Topic: Intimacy
Quotable Quotes:

• "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do no deprive each other except by mutal consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

Woman's 5 basic needs:

1. Affection - Women need to be constantly reminded of the love their husband has for them. Love for a woman is not only provision or loyalty, it consists of loving words and sweet actions. Affection in a marriage leads to a woman knowing that her husband will take care and protect her. It builds security in a marriage.
2. Conversation - true conversation involves undivided attention. Helpful hints: (a) develop an interest in your partner's hobby, (b) balance conversation between both parties, (c) recall your early relationship as a couple together
3. Honesty and Openess - It is trust that is built over time, that her husband will tell her the truth even if it hurts. It is knowing that your partner believes that you can handle even painful truths. This builds emotional security. (Gosh, this reminds me of a couple who's relationship is built on a webn of lies. So sad.)
4. Financial Support
5. Family Commitment - This is the assurance that her husband is committed to her and their children no matter what. That divorce, annulment or separation is never an option. This builds security in a woman

Man's 5 basic needs:

1. Sexual fulfillment - men are visual, women are emotional. Sex for a woman brings about an emotional closeness to her husband. Sex for a woman begins at the start of the day, it is connected to how she feels towards her husband. Sex for a man is something that he just needs. (I still dont understand this.... need more explanation please?
2. Recreational companionship - A woman must put effort in taking interest in her husband's hobbies and join him.
3. An attractive spouse - Like mentioned, men are visual beings. No matter how much they love you, they are never blinded by love. So make an effort to look good. In a man's dreams, he imagines going home to a clean home and beautiful wife. Do not disappoint.
4. Domestic support - A wife must build a home for the family, a place for refuge and security away from the stresses of life. A man must be able to look forward to coming home to a clean and loving haven.
5. Admiration - A man needs his wife to look up at him. Self esteem comes from the home

Common problems in intimacy:

1. Failure to care / meet the emotional need
2. Failure to protect

So... all in all it was an enjoyable seminar. No heavy stuff, and lots of laughing. Key things I think Eyebrows got out of it: My partner listens to pastors more that me... bring her to a pastor if you want to tell her something. hahahaha!! But seriously, for Eyebrows it was probably: treat her gently. For me, it was oh so much! I don’t think there WAS a bottomline. Forgive me, I am a woman... but let me try in a few words: men and women are naturally different, men like to lead and conquer, and the nothing box.

Tagaytay Ocular - Top 3

We drove up to Tagtaytay last Saturday (June 13, 2009) to visit all our prospective wedding venues. After a long but very productive day, we've come up with our top 3 choices (Balai Taal, Antonio's and Midlands Veranda).

Balai Taal

Pictures (left-right, top-bottom):
(1) The drop-off point to the venue
(2) One of the stairway entrances to the garden (there are a few surrounding the garden)
(3) The gazebo / venue for the wedding ceremony and cocktails
(4) Inside the gazebo (although we may not want to use this since you wont have a good view of it from the outside)
(5) Main garden (reception)
(6) Extended garden (reception)
(7) View of all gardens from the main house
(8) Inside the main house (there is a large dining table, a well-equipped kitchen, and an area where we can put additional tables)
(9) The view from the bridal bedroom (Taken from the 3rd floor, the main entrance leads to this floor making it easy for the bridal team to access. The floor has a mini-bar, a small sala and 2 bedrooms with a bathroom each!)
(10) The breath-taking view!

What we love about Balai Taal:
- Near and easy to get to. Its a few kms before Highlands.
- Nelson, the caretaker, seems very responsible, capable, and easy to talk to.
- The venues for the ceremony, cocktails, dinner and after party are all in close proximity and they're all really pretty! The view of Taal from every garden is breathtaking!
- There are 2 fully-equipped houses we can rent! One for our family and the other for friends (perfect!!!) There are at least 5 large rooms in each house. Our guests can easily stay over, less chances they'll start spilling out early.
- There are loads of staging areas for our guests on the wedding day and even the day after!
- Each house has 3 floors, each floor has a mini-bar, a lounge area and a great view! I love the houses...
- The houses have large airconditioned dining rooms we can use for the older folks and kids.
- There is no corkage for anything! And there is no curfew or extra charges.

What we're iffy about:
- Parking is inconvenient for those without drivers. We'll probably have to provide some sort of valet
- The garden is not as big as we'd hoped. However, it can make for a very intimate gathering.
- There's no covered area large enough to accommodate our guests in case it rains hard. Even if we put tents, the rain will make the grass soggy and uncomfortable. This is our biggest worry about Balai.

Antonio's

Pictures (left-right, top-bottom):
(1) Walkway from the parking to the main entrance
(2) The main entrance (it gives off the feeling of an old Spanish house)
(3) The side driveway to the garden where the ceremony and cocktails will be held (perfect for the elderly!)
(4) The entrance to the aisle for the ceremony (I love the big door that'll give s surprise effect for when the bride walks in!)
(5) The garden for the ceremony. There is a surrounding brick walkway where we can have cocktails
(6) The top floor (for the band)
(7) The view from the top to the main hall
(8) Dining area (for suppliers and kids)
(9) The main dining hall (presidential table)
(10) Airconditioned dining area (for VIPs and adults)
What we love about Antonios:
- The food is sure to be awesome!!! (Drool...drool...drool...5 stars!)
- There's not much we have to fix up in the place, it looks pretty as is and it really matches our theme (elegant, classy, relaxed).
- It quite friendly to the older guests. They can be dropped off directly to the wedding ceremony area without having to walk much. Plus there's a separate airconditioned room!
- The venues for the ceremony, cocktails, dinner and after party are all in close proximity. The ceremony can be by the garden, we can put tables on the side for the cocktails, dinner and dancing can be in the main dining hall. There's even a perfect spot for the band in top elevated area.
- The linens and chairs are beautiful!
- The area for the reception and after-party is covered, no need to worry about rain (well, except for the garden ceremony and cocktails. We probably have to tent that)
- There is enough parking

What we're iffy about:
- There is no lodging nearby, guests still have to drive far to get to where they're staying for the night. Whether they're staying in Tags for the night or not, guests will probably start leaving early...
- The area is divided, so you dont really get to see all your guests.
- Corkage for drinks, extra payment for using the garden, extra payment for extra hours...
- They usually dont allow events on the weekends, unless youre willing and able to cover the profit they earn on those days

Midlands Veranda

Pictures (left-right, top-bottom):
(1) The driveway to the entrance of the venue (very spacious and parking wont be a problem)
(2) The receiving area (the ceremony location is at the bottom and the reception at the end) we can have the photobooth here and escort cards here
(3) The ceremony location (its got a beautiful view, but we may have to tent it in case it rains)
(4) The view! We can have fireworks from the 18th hole right in front
(5) The reception venue, its got a garden feel to it
(6) Tiffany chairs, table numbers, linens
(7) The elevated area where we can have the presidential table or band and dancing area
(8) The outdoor terrace where we can hold the cocktails. If it rains, we can opt to have the cocktails in the receiving area instead

What we love about Midlands Veranda:
- There is a small garden below the veranda overlooking the golf course where we can have our ceremony. We may still have to cover this up with a tent in case it rains.
- The cocktails can be by the terrace, just beside the reception area.
- The area is open but covered. It is secluded, but still very spacious.
- There is no curfew in the venue, but we might have to pay extra if we go overtime
- There is lodging nearby so guests can sleep over and not have to leave early.
- Parking is no problem at all.
- Welm, the organizer, seems competent and well-experienced
- We get to use the Tiffany chairs (thank goodness, I never liked the covered monoblocks...)

What we're iffy about:
- It gives off this country club feel that we're not really fond of. Eyebrows practically lives in a country club, getting married in one kinda doesnt make it feel so special? Does that make sense?
- The venue doesnt really give off the vibe we're looking for (intimate, private...)

So far, there has not been one venue that fits perfectly. So we're still on the lookout...

Choosing a Venue

Choosing a venue is our first step to planning our wedding. Once we zone into a specific place, we can figure out the weather in that area and the best time to get married. Once we have the date set, then the real planning can begin! I've been praying that we find the perfect spot, somewhere that just feels right for Vince and I.

I've jotted down a simple list of what we're looking for in a venue hoping it would help us keep our thoughts focused on whats important to us.


What we're looking for in a venue:

1. Somewhere outside of Manila.
   
2. A place that is elegant but not stiff. So, a traditional hotel ballroom wedding is out of the picture. We want our guests to feel relaxed, comfortable and "at-home".
   
3. Ideally, a semi-indoor location with a great view. The weather is so unpredictable nowadays, we'd hate to have to worry about thunderstorms.
   
4. A venue where you can have the ceremony, cocktails, reception and after party all in close proximity.
5. A place that does not have a 12mn or earlier curfew. We would have really wanted Shang Mactan, but then they have a 10pm curfew! Bummer.
   
6. A venue that has reasonable and decent lodging within the same compound, or close by.
   
7. A place where people will stick around for the after party. So it's gotta be convenient enough for guests to not have to worry about getting home late. We'd hate to have everyone spilling out early.
8. Definitely has to have awesome food!
9. Drinks and corkage has to be reasonable.
10. Airconditioned or cool weather climate, we dont want people sweating or uncomfortable.
    

Top 5 Venue Options:

For now, they include the following:

1. Antonios, Tagaytay
2. Balai Taal, Tagaytay
3. Midlands Veranda, Tagaytay
4. The Manor at Camp John Hay, Baguio
5. Baguio Country Club, Baguio

Other Realistic Venue Options:

1. Boracay
2. Bali
3. Poro Point
4. Cebu
   

Brainstorming Suppliers

Brainstorming Suppliers

I have come across tons of options for suppliers in the net, magazines, expos and through word of mouth. Ideally, I would want to get someone who's work I have personally seen. But for now, Im keeping my options open. I guess to help me organize all these famous wedding suppliers Ive been hearing about, I thought to keep a running list.


Wedding Planner:
For now, Im considering getting a wedding planner who will work with me on the wedding day itself. Mostly because I am a very hands on bride, but also cuz I am beginning to realize that I actually do enjoy the stressfull planning (how strange...). I figured the planner I'll be getting depends a lot on the venue. I dont have much names on hand, but I figured I'd get to that later on.

1. Amanda Tirol - Boracay wedding
2. Calrice Avinate - W@W top 10, 2008
3. JP Montilla - Recommended by Antonio's, for a no worries wedding
   

Gowns:
20 wedding magazines and 1,000 webpages after, I think Ive figured out what type of gown I like. I've pretty much put aside the idea of something Greek-inspired and am going with something more bold and elegant. Im thinking A-line, silk, flowers, lots of cloth, minimal to no beading, mid-length train, shoulder-length veil -- romantic style. This isnt carved on stone though, every other day I seem to change my mind.

1. Richie Ortega - This idea came from Jacqui, googled him and I love his designs. They're unique and sometimes daring. Definately an option.
   
2. Ivarluski Aseron - Another idea from Jacqui, still gotta see more of his work though.
   
3. Puey Quinones - Sometimes I fancy the layered ruffled skirt. Plus, I came across the gown for Chesca Garcia -- elegant!
   
4. Oscar Peralta
5. Patrice Ramos - Diaz - maybe a little too much beadwork for me, but worth considering. I like what she did for the Chris.
6. Kristel Yulo - I've seen her entourage gowns (again, Chris' wedding), its in theme with what I want. Although she's more expensive than I imagined, Im still considering.
7. Cecilio Abad - W@W top 10, 2008. Was looking as some pics over the web and he just might be exactly what Im looking for! He uses a lot of silk. Elaborate skirts. Lovely.
   

Although I wasnt in town to witness the Philippine fashion week, I did keep up to date over the net. There were a few designers that caught my eye and I thought to list them down just in case I dont find what Im looking for from the above big names.

1. Martin Bautista
2. Edgar Madamba
3. Boying Eustaquio
4. Popo Go
5. Marc Rancy
6. Benjie Manuel
7. Jaz Cerso

Photography:
If our schedule and budget permits, I'm pretty sure about Mangored. I'm picky about pictures.

1. Mangored
2. Raymond Isaac
3. Jomel Gregorio
4. Paul Vincent
5. Terry Uy - Jill's suggestion, cheaper but good. More traditional style, but he seems to capture the moments.
   

Videography:
Just the same, my ideal for videography is Magbanua. Need to book that ASAP.

1. Jason Magbanua
2. Mayad Studios
3. Threelogy
4. Phoeben Teocson - Another suggestion from Jill. Cheaper but quite talented.
   

Catering:
Food is top priority for us. Ideally, we'd want a set menu with yummy food. We went to this wedding once catered by Cibo and the food was awesome. Since then, Ive made a mental note to consider them for our wedding. Thing is though, not all venues allow you to bring your own caterer -- so again, this is put on hold for now.

1. Cibo

Flowers:
Flowers for me is a low priority item. I want a nice and natural looking venue and simple but very elegant flowers. Plus, you cant go all out in everything, right -- unless you're willing to shell out for it. We've given it some thought, and we've decided to be practical.

Invitations:
Another low priority expense item. With invites, I believe less can sometimes be more.

1. Margie Damian (GA Printing) - reasonable! And thats exactly what Im looking for.
   

Mini-Engagement Dinner at Mesa

Its only now that Im able to enjoy the feeling of being engaged - share about it with my friends, talk about wedding plans and wedding planners, venues and dresses, and all the silly things that makes a wedding exciting for a bride. (I say silly because, if you really think about it, they are quite silly reasons to be excited for the big I DO)

Anyway, since we got engaged, I havent had the chance to see the Avengers (blame it on all the travelling - argh, dont remind me). As soon as I got back from Japan, Eyebrows and his pals arranged for a small and casual dinner, mainly to hang out but in some way also to celebrate our engagement.

It was our first time in Mesa (G5), Filipino restaurant (thank goodness! after all the foreign foods Ive been eating, I really really miss Pinoy food!). Eyebrows went all out (as usual) and ordered a baby lechon (poor pig...). We had it two way: pritchon style, and lechon paksiw. Both were awesome! We had way too much food, but all the dishes were delish! Loved the squid sauteed in garlic (a must order at Mesa!), the fried bangus, the tinapa rice, the laing (although I wouldnt say it was the best laing Ive had). There were other stuff like the lemon butter prawns, some beef stew... I was FULL!

Tagaytay Ocular - Venue Options

Venues to Visit

The past month, Eyebrows and I have been discussing plans for our wedding next year! Its quite hard to plan a wedding if Im so far away. But now that Im finally back home (YEY! but only a for month though), we're taking advantage of the time to find a venue for our big day! I guess the venue would be the first step -- once we get that pinned down, then we can peg a date and begin looking and reserving suppliers. So, our first stop is Tagaytay: cool weather, still out of town, not a horror when it comes to logistics, reasonably priced. We've got a few choices (ok.. maybe they're not a just a few) to check out over the weekend. Maybe we'll find our place here, if not -- off to Baguio we go!!!

Hacienda Isabella

Pros: Cheap corkage (only P5000, unlimited), Might be possible to rent whole venue, Has lodging for guests

Cons: Garden wedding (might rain, have to rent tent), Hilly and hard to walk for oldies, Buffet Style, Hard to find

Contact Numbers: (02) 551-7253 to 55 / (0917) 813-9065
Email: verymalo@yahoo.com
Website: www.HaciendaIsabella.com




Balai Taal

Pros: Can bring own caterer (might be able to have a set dinner), Can rent the whole house, Has lodging for guests, Privacy
Cons: Garden wedding (might rain, have to rent tent)
Contact Numbers: (02) 633-2838, (0917) 855-5168, (0906) 500-6633
Email: info@balai.ph
Website: http://balaitaalsite.com/index.htm




Splendido
Pros: Has an indoor location, Classy and romantic ambiance, Quick and organized response, Set dinner available

Cons: Food seems casual (Spanish tapas), No lodging, Have seen some negative reviews online

Contact Numbers: (02) 693-4016, (0917) 584-5274, (0920) 941-4780
Email: inquiry@splendidotaal.com
Website: http://www.weddingsatsplendido.com




Massimos
Pros: Intimate venue, Good food

Cons: Probably no lodging for guests, Small and casual venue

Contact Numbers: (046) 413-0881, (046) 860-2247, (0916) 371-5449Email: massimos.ristorante@yahoo.com
Website: http://massimosristorante.blogspot.com/




Antonio's

Pros: Good food, Classy and romantic ambiance, Has an indoor location (option for rain)

Cons: Probably no lodging for guests, Guests are spread out (lose the intimacy)

Contact Number: 0917-8992866






Sonya's Garden
Pros: Has an indoor location (option for the rain), Has lodging for guests

Cons: Not really fond of the theme (a little messy?)

Contact Numbers: (0917) 532-9097, (0917) 533-5140
Email: info@sonyasgarden.com
Website: http://www.sonyasgarden.com




Club Balai Isabel
Pros: May have covered / semi-indoor location, Has lodging for guests, Reasonably priced food

Cons: Have to try food (might not be good), No pictures of past weddings found in the net, hot weather

Contact Numbers: (043) 728-0307, (043) 773-0004, (02) 776-1521, (02) 584-4157, (0922) 800-6944
Email: info@balaiisabel.com
Website: http://www.balaiisabel.com.ph




Others:

Highlands
Contact Numbers: (046) 483-0888, (046) 413-3808, (046) 483-0818, (046) 483-0820
Email: banquets@tagaytayhighlands.com
Website: http://www.tagaytayhighlands.com

Canyon Woods
Contact Numbers: (02) 521-7878, (02) 892-9827
Email: clubsales@canyonwoods.com
Website: http://www.canyonwoods.comVille Sommet
Contact Numbers: (0917) 832-3908, (02) 551-8940, (02) 551-3422 to 23
Website: http://www.villesommet.com.ph